Great insights from Megan Thee Stallion's documentary

It's been nearly two years since a jury convicted rapper Tory Lanez in the July 2020 shooting death of Megan Thee Stallion after a party in Los Angeles. Now Megan Thee Stallion, whose real name is Megan Pete, is taking the public through the scene's turbulent years leading up to Lanez's criminal trial in December 2022.

In “Megan Thee Stallion: In Her Words,” the rapper takes an in-depth look at the grief she endured following her mother's death from a brain tumor in 2019 and the mental health struggles that resulted from the shooting. She spoke openly about the loss of her mother, the betrayal of her childhood friend Kelsey Harris – who supported Lanez after the shooting – and her fight for justice when Lanez, along with bloggers and gossip sites, disparaged her on social media and in music videos, and more.

Critics “have put so much shade on my damn name.” And I think that’s because of who I am, what I talk about and how I look,” Megan, 29, says in the documentary, now on Prime Video. “The betrayal, the constant online torture, everything that happened after the shooting definitely made it a hundred times worse.”

The documentary marks the first time since the criminal trial that Megan has spoken in detail about the shooting and her mental health. The 112-minute film features interviews and real-time video footage of Megan over the years – from her graduation from Texas Southern University in 2021 to her appearance in Lanez's criminal trial. She addressed fans at a screening in Los Angeles on Wednesday, saying she ultimately wants to take control of her own narrative.

Here are the biggest reveals from Megan Thee Stallion: In Her Words.

Megan says she's afraid of being attacked during her performance

In the years leading up to the trial, Megan endured a barrage of online harassment from those who supported Lanez, whose real name is Daystar Peterson. She said the critics were influenced by a variety of bloggers, podcasters and social media accounts who relentlessly cast doubt on Megan's account of the shooting.

Earlier this week, Megan's lawyers filed a lawsuit against commentator Milagro Gramz, accusing her of being a “mouthpiece” and “paid surrogate” for Lanez during and after the high-profile criminal trial. In the documentary, Megan often speaks somberly or through tears as she describes the harassment. In one scene she talks about fearing for her life.

“People on the internet say, 'You should have been shot in the head.' He should have finished the job. He should have killed your a–. You're constantly twerking, damn you deserved what you got,” Megan recalls.

“I can’t separate trolling from real life,” she says. “Am I safe performing in front of thousands of people? I don’t know who is in this crowd.”

She spent a month in a psychiatric facility

Describing a downward spiral amid the media storm over the shooting, Megan said she had suicidal thoughts for the first time. “I would rather not go through this than have to live with it,” she says.

The psychological distress was only exacerbated by the break-in at her home in 2022. Two men broke into Megan's Los Angeles home while she was preparing to host “Saturday Night Live” in New York City. One night after the break-in, Megan said she had trouble breathing and called 911.

“I thought I was going to die before I went to therapy,” she said. “It was about three days. I didn't get out of bed and I've never felt like this in my life,” she said, adding that she “stayed under the covers and … cried every day.”

She eventually underwent psychiatric treatment for a month. She said she has been working with a therapist daily to process the shooting and has experienced various forms of therapy this month.

Megan explains why she denied being intimate with Lanez

In an April 2022 interview with CBS News' Gayle King, Megan explained that she was afraid to tell police about the shooting to protect her friends from police violence and online criticism, and claimed that she and Lanez had a sexual relationship had. She told King at the time that she and Lanez had not been intimate, but said in the documentary that she had sex with him “once, maybe twice, on a drunken night.”

An excerpt of the confession circulated online, with some social media users condemning Megan, while others stated that their sexual relationship did not negate the fact that Megan was shot.

In the documentary, Megan expressed her frustration with the focus on her sexual relationships.

“They vilified me because of the kind of person I am. “It made me doubt myself,” she said, referring to her overtly sexual lyrics and public image. She said at times she even got busy focusing on her sex life instead of the shooting. “I'm like, 'Wait a minute, that's not what this is about!'”

Nneka Onuorah, director of the documentary, told NBC News that any criticism of the scene has been drowned out by the support for Megan since the film's release.

“There will always be different opinions, but all that matters in this film is that Meg feels like she can tell the truth from her perspective,” Onuorah said. “And that's the most important thing about the film, and the success is that she was resilient and she triumphed and she's doing well at the moment.”

Your path to testifying in court

Megan said she was feeling better after the mental health retreat but was still nervous about testifying in Lanez's headline-grabbing trial.

“I have to show up for Megan Pete,” she recalled the day of her testimony, adding, “Today is not about looking strong. It's okay to be sad. I have to stop avoiding it.”

A jury convicted Lanez, 32, who pleaded not guilty, in December of three felonies: assault with a semiautomatic firearm, carrying a loaded, unregistered firearm in a vehicle and grossly negligent discharge of a firearm. He was later sentenced to 10 years in prison.

She cried and hugged her co-workers when she learned of the conviction. For Megan, her testimony and beliefs were more important than herself.

“If it wasn’t me and I was on the outside looking in and something happened to me, I wouldn’t want to come forward,” she said. “If this can happen to this famous lady and nothing is done about it, what the hell does that say to a person who is just a civilian who doesn’t have the means to fight?”

Years later, Megan has a string of successful albums and an arena tour behind her. But she said in the documentary that she still struggles with critics who condemn her for speaking out about the shootings.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text HOME to 741741, or stop by SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional resources.