'Law & Order' actor Jack Merrill reveals that serial killer John Wayne Gacy kidnapped and raped him

A veteran actor who has appeared on “Law & Order” and “Grey's Anatomy” revealed Wednesday that he was kidnapped, raped and held at gunpoint by notorious serial killer John Wayne Gacy more than 45 years ago.

Jack Merrill described himself as a “puny 19-year-old” in 1978 when “the killer clown” parked his car in front of the teenager as he walked home from a swim at a YMCA in Chicago.

“Would you like a ride?” Merrill recalled being asked in an essay published by People.

Merrill, who had lived alone in a studio apartment since he was 17, jumped into the stranger's car before being told: “You're smart. You’re not like those other kids.”

Merrill assumed the ride would be around the block, but Gacy quickly drove to another neighborhood, where he told him to lock the door before stopping near the Kennedy Expressway on-ramp northwest of downtown Chicago .

Gacy, then 36, asked Merrill if he had ever drunk “poppers,” or alkyl nitrite, as he pulled out a brown bottle, squirted liquid onto a rag and pushed it into the teen's face.

Merrill, who had a boyfriend at the time, said he passed out only to wake up and find himself handcuffed outside Gacy's home in Northwood Park Township, 4 miles east of Chicago O'Hare International Airport.

“He told me to be quiet. A light from the back of the house hit him in the eyes and I suddenly realized how dangerous he was,” Merrill wrote. “I knew I couldn’t upset him. I just had to defuse the situation and pretend everything was okay.”

Merrill said this method of de-escalation was the same one he and his sisters used to ward off their parents' wrath.

“That's how I survived as a child – we learned to keep a low profile during my parents' tantrums,” Merrill remembers.

Merrill said his mother was a narcissistic personality who had “nothing about her except the way life affected her.”

His father was Jerome Holtzman, the legendary MLB historian and National Baseball Hall of Fame member who was then a baseball writer for the Chicago Sun-Times.

As he entered the dark house, Merrill said, he questioned whether he trusted Gacy, who then unlocked the teen's handcuffs before the two drank beer and strong weed.

Gacy handcuffed his victim again and dragged him down a hallway before placing a homemade device around Merrill's neck.

The device was equipped with ropes and pulleys and ran around his back and through the handcuffs so that Merrill would be suffocated if he resisted.

Gacy shoved a gun into Merrill's mouth before raping his victim.

“I knew if I fought him I wouldn’t have much of a chance. I never freaked out or screamed,” Merrill said.

Merrill admitted he felt sorry for his abuser “in a way.” “Like he didn’t necessarily want to do what he was doing, but he couldn’t stop.”

When Gacy seemed to tire, the killer surprised the teenager.

“Suddenly he said, 'I'm taking you home.'”

Merrill was dropped off around 5 a.m. near where he was picked up.

“Maybe we’ll meet again sometime,” Gacy reportedly said as he handed him a paper with his phone number on it.

When Merrill got home, he quickly flushed the paper down the toilet. He decided to take a shower and go to a restaurant to get eggs and a milkshake without calling the police.

“I didn't call the police – I didn't know he was a murderer at the time,” he said. “I made a pact with myself to get over it. I didn’t want to leave my happiness in this house.”

When news broke of Gacy's arrest and the discovery of bodies in his home, Merrill called the Chicago Sun-Times.

“The guy raped me. The man who answered said, 'What was your name?'”

Merrill did not leave his name as his father still worked there.

“I thought if the police ever needed my help, I would come forward,” the actor said.

Gacy was convicted of raping, torturing and murdering at least 33 men between the ages of 14 and 21.

In December 1978, 26 bodies were recovered from a crawlspace beneath Gacy's home.

Five of the victims remain unidentified after officials identified Francis Wayne Alexander of North Carolina through dental records in October 2021.

Gacy was arrested in December 1978, tried, convicted and sentenced to death.

Gacy was executed by lethal injection at the Stateville Correctional Facility on May 10, 1994.

Merrill moved to New York where he began acting, which had a therapeutic effect for him.

“You're forced to express yourself, and with that comes a certain honesty. Recognition and acceptance,” he added.

Merrill was lucky to survive the traumatic brush with death and end up with a husband of 23 years and two pets.

“There are a lot of people who have had bad things happen to them. Many people who have been raped don't talk about it. I understand that.”

The actor, who stars in his own one-man show “The Save” in Los Angeles, rarely revealed this story.

“So far I have only told close friends. But when I do my new show, I go through it every night. I’m proud of the journey.”