Jewish women have strong thoughts about one of today's most popular television shows

Last month, ahead of the release of the now much-discussed and popular Netflix rom-com series Nobody Wants This, stars Adam Brody and Kristen Bell appeared on the Armchair Expert podcast.

They spoke candidly about their chemistry with hosts Dax Shepard (Bell's husband) and Monica Padman The Earth-shattering first kiss that has since sparked a million memes – and the Brody sance many of us have been waiting for ever since.”The OK.”

It turns out that Brody had a problem with the kissing scene: he thought it would be unrealistic for his character to ask Bell's to leave her purse on the Los Angeles sidewalk.

As we watched the show, even the most germophobe and money-hungry city dwellers among us managed to suspend our disbelief in this chemistry. this kiss.

But there was something else about the series that many otherwise avid viewers, myself included, didn't like: the cartoonish depiction of Jewish women. Almost as soon as the rave reviews arrived, so did the reviews on sites like Time and Vulture—and of course on X, formerly Twitter.

In a post, freelance writer Miriam Handel said: “Adam Brody is so keen that no one wants this that I can overlook the reserved, devilish way in which Jewish women exist on the show.”

Restrained and devilish indeed. “Nobody wants that” was inspired by the real life of creator Erin FosterThe experience of being a non-Jewish womano falls in love with a JewShit man. (Foster later converted to Judaism.) In tIn the TV version, the stakes are higher: Brody plays a hip rabbi named Noah, and Bell plays Joanne, who, as we're reminded countless times, is a “shiksa.” The word derived from Yiddish has historically been used (and often derogatorily) to describe a usually blonde, non-Jewish woman who entices an otherwise God-fearing man to deviate from his religious expectations of marriage.

The series lives up to its expectations in the sense that we as a society are lacking truly delightful, pulpy romantic comedies with sharp dialogue and complicated characters. I admit to tears when Joanne expresses her relationship fears and Noah hosts a makeshift “first Shabbat” for Joanne in the middle of a restaurant.

And, oh, I really, Really I wish I could leave my assessment at that.

But from the opening scenes it becomes clear that there are two distinct groups of characters in the film: Jewish women and the people who tolerate them.

Bina – Noah's overbearing mother, played by Tovah Feldshuh – blushes at the mere sight of Joanne at the Friday night service. Bina is only overshadowed by Noah's uptight and mean sister-in-law Esther, played by Jackie Tohn.

“I was offended by the depiction of Jewish women, especially Esther,” said Hannah Orenstein, a New York-based author and editor. “She is bossy, manipulative, sexless, treats her husband like shit and is rude to Joanne, in part because of her identity.”

Esther is also the best friend of Rebecca, played by Emily Arlook. Rebecca is Noah's Jewish ex-girlfriend, whom he breaks up with after discovering that she found an engagement ring in a locked drawer and begins wearing it before ever proposing to her. In my opinion, this means that a Jewish woman's goal is marriage at any cost, not to mention romance. So some of the coldness towards Joanne made sense.

“I didn't mind when Esther was rude to Joanne out of loyalty to Rebecca – that affected me,” Orenstein said. “If she was just one of those things, fine. But all in all, it’s such an exaggerated stereotype.”

In contrast, Joanne and her younger sister Morgan, played hilariously by Justine Lupe, secureportrayed as manic, but in an endearing, go-with-the-flow way not offered to her Jewish counterparts.

“I really didn’t like seeing another portrayal of Jewish women as nagging, unloving wives,” Orenstein said. “The show did tenderness really well. What if they had brought some of that warmth into Esther and Sasha's relationship?” she asked, referring to Esther's husband, played by Timothy Simons.

My friend Emma Gray, a former HuffPost employee, toucIn a review for them, he expressed the same opinion Rich text newsletterwriting: “The Jewish women of 'Nobody wants that exist only in opposition to Joanne and Morgan, and their paper-thin rendition takes a show that contains so much deliciousness and makes it all a little sour.”

I'm tempted to dismiss the whole thing as pure comedy and ask if it really is The It's a big deal to wonder if I'm making a Semitic mountain out of a Semitic molehill. That's partly because it's there Are Some truths lurk beneath the scary caricatures: More than once, I was lovingly questioned about my romantic life by my meddling grandmother.

But to me and others, the nastiness seen on the show simply wasn't true.

“I know families who are close-knit and really want their children to marry someone Jewish,” Orenstein said. “That felt real to me. What didn't feel real was the rabid intensity with which they openly hated Joanne. I know some people who are upset that their children's partners aren't Jewish. But in public the mood is rather disappointing, not cold or aggressive.”

This lack of reality may be the show biggest problem. Satire makes fun of its subjects and can be extremely effective when used correctly. (See: “Curb your enthusiasm.”) But most of the decisions these characters make feel different to how someone would behave in real life. Reducing characters to their least desirable traits without providing sufficient comedic background just ends up coming off as malicious.

“I did not see her behavior as a reflection of the experiences I had with Jewish women in my community.” said Ava Feldman of the San Francisco Bay Area (who is not related to the author of this story). “That scene where Esther screams at Sasha from the car while he's at the bar with Joanne and Noah was so painful to watch.”

To Foster's credit, the Los Angeles Times noted this in an interview “When she entered the writers’ room, she said she intentionally surrounded herself with colleagues who were born Jewish.” bHowever, when I asked her what she thought about critics calling the Jewish characters “stereotypical,” her answer left me wanting more. (She did not respond to a request for comment on this story at the time of publication.)

“I think we need positive Jewish stories right now,” Foster told the LA Times. “I think it's interesting when you have a rabbi at the helm, people focus on, 'Oh, this is a stereotype of the Jewish people.' A hot, cool, young rabbi who smokes weed. That's the opposite of how people see a Jewish rabbi, right? If I made the Jewish parents look like two granola hippies on a farm, someone would write: “I've never met a Jewish person like that.” You obviously don't know how to write about Jewish people, you don't know what you do, and that doesn't represent us well.'”

Perhaps. I don't know. I think of TV shows like “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” or films like “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah” what Feldman said “Felt very authentic as a depiction of a modern Jewish family dynamic.” And I wonder what “Nobody wants that.” would have been like exploring complicated family relationships without Reinforcing degrading and potentially harmful stereotypes.

Most people I spoke to finished the series with similar feelings: they both really enjoyed it and were disappointed by it – in some cases, particularly the ending.

“I thought Joanne had come to a very mature conclusion, and the idea of ​​someone giving up their entire career for someone they've been dating for less than three or four months felt very extreme,” Feldman said.

Orenstein echoed that sentiment. “Interfaith relationships can certainly work,” she said. “But religion is Noah’s world, and no matter how accepting Joanne is, I think she would end up unhappy. She would have to prioritize a value system that means nothing to her.”

Ultimately, we have to be willing to suspend our disbelief when it comes to pulpy romantic comedies. From Course They would end up together, dream jobs be damned. Naturally She placed her purse on the sidewalk.

But what no one wants (or at least doesn't) is that we're expected to suspend disbelief that we can't see ourselves portrayed as the full, complicated human beings we are in the media we consume ― Satire or otherwise.