Seth Meyers on SNL, Late Night and knowing how to take the “L” in an argument: NPR

Seth Meyers says he knows how to “take the L” and avoid an argument.

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A note from Wildcard Hosted by Rachel Martin: Seth Meyers is a person who likes to do everything right. That may be one of the reasons why he was so successful as an actor and later as a lead writer Saturday Night Liveand of course in his current role as presenter of Late at night. But it was fascinating to see it in the context of this interview.

Obviously there are no right or wrong answers Wildcard – You should just be honest. But the moment that really showed me that Meyers was doing things right was when he criticized himself early on for not being honest. Which then opened up a different kind of conversation.

Seth Meyers' new HBO stand-up special is Dad-man leaves.

This Wild Card interview has been edited for length and clarity. Host Rachel Martin asks guests randomly selected questions from a deck of cards. Tap play above to listen to the full podcast or read an excerpt below.

Question 1: When were you most homesick?

Seth Meyers: I had the best two years after college. I worked in an American comedy theater in Amsterdam, Netherlands. And I enjoyed every minute of it. But I've never been abroad. I was never separated from my family. And my family has so many things in common, like watching sports together. And the huge time difference – I felt very far away from my parents, especially on Sundays when I couldn't even visit them for events that had great value for us.

But in general I have to say that I don't feel homesick often. I may have given you the wrong answer. I've never been so homesick.

Rachel Martin Okay, interesting. But you are close to your parents?

Meyers: I am close to my parents. My parents still live in the house I grew up in, but one of the reasons I'm not particularly homesick is that my parents have an old English sheepdog and have had others throughout my life, and I am definitely allergic to them. And I thought I was chronically ill throughout high school. And then I went to college and –

Martin: They say, “It’s an autoimmune disease.”

Meyers: Yes. And then I went to college and thought, “No, it was the dogs.” My dad was very frustrated with how sick I was getting. And he thought there had to be a root cause. And so I remember we went to one of these allergy doctors where they do a skin prick test. And I remember just driving there and my dad said, “We'll figure it out.” We'll make you better. Nobody should be as sick as you.” And then they did the skin prick test and the biggest thing was dogs. And then we got in the car and he said, “We’re not getting rid of the dog.”

Martin: Take some Benadryl. You'll be fine.

Meyers: Exactly.

Question 2: Has your ambition ever led you astray?

Meyers: Don't go astray. I think sometimes ambition may have distracted me from my strengths. You know, on SNL there were obviously a lot of people that I was friends with who were both on SNL and had solid acting careers outside of SNL. And I was eager for it. And I mean, I think it's ambition, I thought, “Oh, I want to be in movies too.” And very slowly it dawned on me, and it probably should have dawned on me quicker, “Oh, that's not what I should do.” I'm good at some other things, but being an actor isn't one of them.” And when I look back, I wasted a lot of time and got myself into trouble that I could have avoided if I had just “You know what, sometimes your ambition for something is misplaced if you don't do it.” You actually have the basic talent you need to get involved.”

Martin: But you yourself came to the conclusion that it wasn't necessary for someone to tell you that something wasn't going to work?

Meyers: I mean, I should say, I kept getting uncast, so no one ever took me aside, you know? It's not like your agents say, 'Stop.' But at some point I said, 'I don't want to go to auditions anymore.' And at that time, you know, there were a few other things going on – when I became head writer on SNL was promoted – where I realized, “Oh, that's an achievement and that should be enough for me and maybe I should give up this other hunt.”

Martin: But that's more difficult. Head writer at SNL, what is your career path? It worked out for you, but when you're an actor you just think, “I'm an actor.” And then there are acting jobs.

Seth Meyers speaks with President Joe Biden during a taping of “Late Night with Seth Meyers” in New York in February.

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Meyers: Yeah, but I guess one of the things was that I wasn't as good an actor as the other people in the cast. I was an improv comedian and then I had this weird path that led me to SNL. And then you make this mistake: you walk down a hallway and you see pictures of former cast members and you think that because you work at the same place as them, you're going to follow the same career path, you know? But it's a mistake to say that just because you were hired at the same job as Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell doesn't mean you'll have their careers. And SNL brings in a lot of different people with a lot of different skills. And that's why I'm very grateful that my time there allowed me to be patient and allow me to find what was right for me.

Question 3: Are you good at knowing when something should end?

Meyers: Yes.

Martin: Conversations?

Meyers: Conversations, definitely.

Martin: Disagreements?

Meyers: Yes, I'm doing very well. I once – I hope I don't get in trouble for this – my wife and my sister-in-law had an argument once. It was during a very stressful Christmas holiday. There were too many people at my in-laws' house. And they fought in the hallway. And I came out and yelled, “You know, some people de-escalate!” And they were both very surprised. But I –

Martin: It's easier to end someone else's fight.

Meyers: I know when to walk away from an argument. I think part of it is because I'm willing to take the L most of the time.

Martin: Yes. That's interesting.

Meyers: Yes. I think I'm happy to take the L in a disagreement to move on.

Another thing: I feel like I was a lot more spirited when I was younger and things were really hot on SNL. And there were definitely times when I instinctively said something that would have ended the relationship for others.

Martin: Oh really?

Meyers: You know, you just have an argument and looking back it's all embarrassingly petty, you know?

Martin: But you didn't say that, did you?

Meyers: No, and one of the reasons I didn't say them is my producer and dear friend Mike Shoemaker, who works with me now and worked with me on SNL. I remember once saying, “I'm going to tell so-and-so that he's a you-know-what.” And he always said, “It's a long life.” It's a long life. And the people you work with here, what you go through with them, even for those who aren't your favorite people, will build a bond. And you will need these relationships for the rest of your life to remember what that time was like. And there will be more of those people at your wedding than there won't be.” That's why I'm very glad I lived by the saying, “It's a long life.” Because if it's someone you think could be your friend in the future, there's no reason to burn them down in the present.