Seth Meyers says he tried to raise his children gently but failed

• Seth Meyers said his kids think it's funny when he “drops the hammer.”
• The father-of-three said he tried gentle parenting and got “no results.”
• Gentle parenting emphasizes communication rather than punishment.

Seth Meyers tried gentle parenting and found it didn't work for him.

In an interview on NBC's “Today” on Monday, the “Late Night” host said his children are not afraid of him.

Meyers, 50, said he used to be afraid of his father, who was a “drop the hammer” father. But he said his kids think it's funny when he drops the hammer.

He recalled an incident when he was frustrated with his child and they said, “Watch out, my dad is about to lose his temper. It’s hilarious.”

“I think they know, they say, 'It's a different era,'” Meyers said, adding that his children “walk around like they have diplomatic immunity.”

Meyers and his wife Alexi Ashe have two sons, Ashe, 8, and Axel, 5, and a daughter, Addie, 2.

When asked about his thoughts on gentle parenting, Meyers said: “I'm just not getting any results with my gentle parenting.” His children, on the other hand, were thrilled, he said: “They would give good grades.”

At one point, his wife told his son that he had been on a “strike,” he recalled. “I'm like, 'Are you on strike?' He says, 'Yeah, I think that's Strike Five?'”

“They’re good kids,” the comedian concluded. “I’m probably just not a great parent.”

A representative for Meyers did not immediately respond to a request for comment from Business Insider sent outside regular business hours.

How gentle parenting works

Unlike the traditional approach of authoritarian parenting, in which parents punish a child for misbehavior, gentle parenting emphasizes empathy and understanding of the child's feelings.

As Chrissy Horton, a former preschool teacher, previously wrote for BI, gentle parenting “focuses more on the needs or issues in which their behavior is rooted, rather than ignoring their perspective.”

The parenting style took off on TikTok last year when parents shared their method of correcting a child by communicating with them rationally rather than punishing or disciplining them. The hashtag #gentleparenting currently has 7.5 billion TikTok views.

The parenting style has received a lot of criticism. In July, Christine Carrig, who runs a preschool, wrote for BI that parents could reduce attachment to their children by following gentle parenting “scripts.”

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“I worry that some parents are buying into the idea that they can optimize the parent-child relationship by becoming less authentic and more like an 'ideal' parent dictated by an expert's interaction style “can be completely different from the parents,” she wrote.

Hannah Nwoko, a millennial mother, previously told BI that gentle parenting made her feel like she was “stepping on eggshells.”

“The pressure to be the perfect, patient parent wore me down,” Nwoko said.

Lauren Salles Gumpert, a speech therapist and mother, stopped gentle parenting after it left her emotionally exhausted. “I want my daughters to see me as a whole person, and I don't want to blame them for me becoming their emotional (or physical) punching bag,” she wrote.

Others say there are ways to make gentle parenting successful.

Mary Benedetti, a Toronto social worker and psychotherapist, said gentle parenting works when parents set ground rules for acceptable behavior. “Clear, friendly but firm boundaries are needed,” she told BI.

Amber Adrian, a mother and former teacher, said she sets expectations for her students' behavior at the start of the school year. She said that while not all misconduct needs to be punished, it does need to be addressed appropriately.

Ultimately, Adrian said the most important thing is to build a strong relationship with your child.

“Good relationships can withstand the tensions and conflicts that arise when children fail to meet expectations because there is a foundation of trust and unconditional love,” she wrote.